


You're My Tsunami, I'm Your Disaster

by Hopes_World



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Breaking Up & Making Up, Cheating, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Overdosing, Season 2 spoilers, Songfic, Swearing, This is really cheesy, Very small amount of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopes_World/pseuds/Hopes_World
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Morgan cheats on Spencer, can Spencer find it in his heart to forgive him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're My Tsunami, I'm Your Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> Song: A Lovely Mess by Front Porch Step

_**I'm not the man that I once was  
But I'm changing every day because I want to find someone like you  
And you've got eyes that can tear me down  
But all they do is build me up  
So hold my hand before my heart erupts. ** _

Reid sat at his desk, just sitting and remembering. It was a hard week. Not only did they just get back from a case involving a child rapist who tortured his victims before killing them, but it was in Las Vegas, and his mother’s hospital had called him, saying they needed his help because it was one of her off-the-wall days. She had been okay when she first woke up, but by lunch, she was screaming at all the other residents, along with the staff, threw a flower vase at a wall, and tried to flip a table over a chess game, screaming over and over, “I won’t play chess without my son! I want Reid! What have you done with my son?!”. Reid had to rush over in the middle of giving the profile to help calm her down. Of course, the whole issue with Morgan didn’t help either. It was about three years ago, and they had been together for at least a month, but Reid wasn’t yet ready to take the next step. Morgan was okay with that at first, but then one night, after getting home from a case and being stressed out, Rossi had offered to have a “family party” at his house, with tons and tons of pasta. Reid had decided to go, because hey, why not? These things didn’t happen, and he could relax a bit. Everyone decided to go, that is, except Morgan. Saying he was tired, and wanted to sleep, he kissed Reid on the cheek, and told him to go have fun. Which he did. Until he got home. The lights were off, and the door was slightly open. Panicking, Reid rushed into the apartment, yelling for Morgan. When he heard a scream from the bedroom, he raced down the hall. Opening the door with lightning speed, he saw Morgan, underneath some guy he didn’t know. The sight before him made his heart drop; some scrawny guy, spreading Morgan wide open, and thrusting as hard as he could. Reid just stood there. He couldn’t believe it. Reid cleared his throat louder than he needed too, “You couldn’t have waited until I was ready. Thank you Morgan. You can have the apartment, and you can burn my clothes. I don’t want to be dressing in something that you’ve had your filthy hands all over.” And with that, he exited, the last sounds from his apartment being Mogan and his slut climaxing together. 

That night, Reid had gone to some shitty motel, and for the first time in his life, he took out a bottle and a syringe from his pocketbook,. Before he knew it, his pain was subsided and he was asleep on his bed, blood beading up at the injection site.

~~

Not having noticed the hand shaking his shoulder, Reid was startled when he heard that familiar voice, “Pretty boy, are you okay? You’ve been staring at the wall for almost an hour now.” Looking up and seeing that face, Reid almost cried.They had made up about four months or so after the incident, and were still good friends, despite being hurt and not sleeping much in the three years since that night, he still loved the man standing in front of him. He got lost in his chocolate coloured eyes. They made his heart ache, but just as soon made it heal up again. Shaking his head and coming to his senses, Reid sighed, “Yeah, it’s just been a tiring week.” Trailing off and not even knowing what he was saying, he looked down and mumbled, “I guess I just need a good hug..”

The next thing Reid knew, he was being hugged and a hand was caressing the back of his head. The muscled arms around him felt nice, and he hugged back, breathing in Morgan’s unique smell. He heard a sigh escape Morgan’s lips, “I really missed this pretty boy. I miss your touch.”

_**And darling I may not be everything you want  
But I can give you all I have  
I'm not the perfect man  
But you are just so perfect and I want to be the one that holds your hand. ** _

“What??” Reid backed out of the hug and stared into Morgan’s eyes.

“I said I missed your touch.” Morgan looked at him fiercely. 

Reid recoiled in anger and fear. “You have no right to say that, Morgan.”

Morgan’s eyebrows knitted together and he sighed, “Reid, listen. I can explain that night, if you let me..” He trailed of and looked at his feet.

Reid’s voice was sharp, and he tried to hide the shaking behind it, knowing damn well that would be hard. Morgan knew him almost better than he knew himself. “Then explain to me, because I sure as hell don’t understand.”

Morgan grabbed Reid’s hand, and lead him to the break room, where it was more secluded and they could talk in privacy. Looking straight into Reid’s eyes, he began. “Reid, this is going to sound like total shit, but I promise it isn’t. That night, I was struggling and I couldn’t party with the rest of you. I went home and I was stupid. I drank my sorrows away, and about two and a half bottles of rum later, I went to dial your number to tell you I needed help, and apparently I typed all the correct numbers in, except the first three digits, which lead me to some gay sex service. I guess I said that I needed some help and when they asked my address, I laughed and told them where the apartment was, thinking you were playing some trick on me. I can’t remember what fully happened, but they sent some scrawny guy with shaggy hair. In my drunken state, he looked like you, and when he started kissing me, I thought it was you and I just went with it.”

Reid was furious, but mostly because his heart hurt. The love of his life was drinking to a dangerous rate, and he thought the other guy was him. Goddamn. Suddenly something arose in his chest. Something like anger, but more like extreme sadness. He tilted his head a little, “Well, Morgan, that’s all well and dandy but it doesn’t make up for anything. I spent a year doing Dilaudid again, and I spent up until recently getting clean again!” His fists were clenched at his sides and shaking.

“Reid.. No.. Tha- No. No no no.” Morgan was shaking his head profusely and he had tears in his eyes now. He suddenly leaned forward, and wrapped Reid in another hug, one that he could not escape. “Reid I won’t let you get back into that again. Just no.” Reid felt warm tears on his shoulder, and felt his own eyes becoming watery. “Reid, you mean so much to me and I cannot let you go. I wanna be back with you, in your bed snuggling you and keeping you safe.” He let go of the younger male, and looked deeply into his eyes. “I will not stop until I can call you mine again. I love you, and I’m not ready to let you go yet.” With that, he kissed Reid’s cheek gingerly, and walked away.

_**I'm sorry if I come off strong  
And it could be that you're all wrong for me  
But I just had to see  
Cause you are broken and I am such a wreck  
I think we'd make a lovely mess. ** _

_**And darling I may not be everything you want  
But I can give you all I have  
I'm not the perfect man  
But you are just so perfect and I want to be the one that holds your hand. ** _

Reid sat in his new apartment, looking over the shaggy rug. His skin itched and burned. He wanted to talk to Morgan. He really did. But he couldn’t. He looked over at the night stand. There was a bottle and a needle. He knew he shouldn’t. But god, did his skin burn. Leaning over, and grasping the bottle, he hated himself. A year and half gone down the drain. “Screw it,” He thought, “I might as well. Who cares if I overdose?” With that, he injected the needle into his skin, over and over again in several spots until he couldn’t feel his arm anymore. His vision was blurry, and as he fell backwards on his bed, his cellphone started to ring. 

Next thing Reid knew, he had strong fists pounding desperately on his chest, and he felt warm tears on his face. The yelling voice was muffled, and he couldn’t see anything but a blurred figure standing over him. He caught bits and pieces of whatever the person was yelling, “Reid! Come on! I - lose you! Wake - I need - Please!”. With one final pound, Reid coughed and felt a strong hand feeling his pulse. He shut his eyes and opened them slowly. Morgan was cradling him in his arms, crying profusely. His door was busted in - something Morgan was famous for doing - and he was mumbling that he couldn’t lose him again. “Reid what were you thinking? You were almost dead when I got here! I can’t lose you again, please, stay awake babe.” Reid had never seen Morgan reduced to such a state. 

“I don’t care. You should have let me die.” Reid sat up, and inhaled deeply. His arm hurt a lot, and he had a couple crimson droplets running down his arm. 

“If you died, I would have blamed myself and joined you. I cannot lose you again.” With that, Morgan pulled Reid into his arms again, and kissed him like his life depended on it. Widening his eyes, Reid didn’t know what to do for a moment. A genius, reduced to a matter of blank thoughts. When he came to his senses, he was kissing the man back, and wrapping his arms around his neck. The kiss was passionate and it was amazing. But Reid couldn’t do it. He knew the implications and he wasn’t ready to deal with them yet. Letting go of Morgan, and sliding off his lap, he looked up. 

“I’m sorry Morgan, I can’t..” He trailed off and looked at the ground between them. 

“It’s okay. I’ll give you time. That was uncalled for and I’m sorry.” Morgan’s voice was soft.

“That would be nice. I need time to think..” He looked up again, and Morgan had the smallest of smiles on his face. He looked relieved, almost. “Why are you here anyway?” He questioned, tilting his head a bit.

“I tried calling you, I was worried that you’d.. Well..” He motioned around them, at the empty dilaudid bottle on the floor, and the dirty syringe on the bed. “I was worried something like this may happen. So I tried to call like seven times, and when you didn’t pick up, I got worried. I raced over, and when I knocked on the door a couple times, you didn’t answer.. So I kicked it in.. I’ll replace the hinges, and the door, if needed..” He trailed off, slightly ashamed. It was cute.

“Thank you for saving me.. I got carried away and I’m sorry.” He smiled shyly.

“Don’t thank me. I’m not losing you again, and if I need to bust in your door and save you, then so be it. As much as I hate to see you in that position, I’ll do it if it means you survive. I meant it when I said I was going to get you back. I’m going to give you my all.” Morgan was cupping Reid’s cheek, and Reid was leaning into the touch. “You need to sleep. I’m going to go home, and I’m going to have my phone on full blast so that if you need me, I can wake up and answer ASAP.” He smoothed Reid’s shaggy hair, and stood, helping Reid to his feet. 

“Okay. I’ll think about it then.” Reid smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, tossing the bottle and syringe in the garbage.

There was confusion in the other man’s voice, and even more in his face. “About what?” 

“About us. About giving you another chance... I’ve kinda missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, pretty boy.”

Morgan started to leave, and just before he got to the door, Reid ran to the hallway, and yelled loud enough for Morgan to hear, “Morgan??”. The man turned around, door slightly ajar. He raised his eyebrows. “Can I see you tomorrow? I’m going to think about it all tonight and all day.” Morgan smiled, and nodded, “What time, and what place, pretty boy?”

“Give me until eight o’clock and meet me at that fancy place we used to go to. Dress up? Please.” Morgan nodded, and gave him a bright smile. He walked out, locking the door behind him, and Reid went back to his room, thinking.

~~

Laying in bed all night, Reid thought and he thought. “Should I do this?” He asked himself, looking at the black ceiling. He was talking to no one but himself, fiddling softly with the bandage he applied to his arm. “Maybe this isn’t going to be what I’m looking for. Maybe it won’t be perfect. God, Spencer, what is perfect anymore?” He scolded himself and continued his conversation with the dark. “We even out each other’s odds. He’s a disaster. I’m a tsunami. We fit well together. He deserves a second chance.” As his eyelids got heavy, and he drifted off to sleep, he felt himself mutter ten words he never thought he would hear himself say out loud again: “I want to be with him again. I love him.”

_**Some day we could wake up in a bed we call our own  
I would buy you lots of flowers  
And someday I'd build your home  
I would sing you Frank Sinatra while we sway along and dance  
This life of course could be all yours if you would just give me a chance. ** _

The next night, at eight pm, Reid found himself standing outside his favorite restaurant, waiting for Morgan to show up. Several minutes later, and he saw Morgan jogging up the sidewalk, in black dress pants and a black button up. They matched. Except of course, for Reid’s mismatched socks, and his classic purple scarf, lazily thrown over his neck. Morgan always thought that was cute. They exchanged hello’s, and a couple hugs, then Morgan offered his arm to Reid, which he gladly accepted, and walked into the restaurant together, feeling happier than either of them had in awhile.

Once at their table, and the main course finished, the two opted on sharing a dessert. They both decided on a warm molten chocolate lava cake with melting vanilla ice cream. After getting about halfway through, Reid found himself laughing too hard at a joke Morgan told him, and ended up leaning too close to the other man, getting ice cream on his nose. Without noticing, Morgan gently grabbed his face, and licked the ice cream off his nose. “Sorry, you had a spot. I figured I’d clean it up for you.” He winked, and Reid blushed, grabbing Morgan’s hands. “Listen. Morgan.” He looked to his side, and then back at those chocolate brown eyes. “I thought a lot, and I figured I’d give you a second chance. I’ve missed you, and I want to forgive you.” Morgan’s eyes lit up, and he pulled Reid into his arms, laughing like a little kid. “I’m so glad, Reid. I promise I won’t disappoint.” 

~~

A few months later, and the couple was going strong. Sitting in Reid’s apartment, cuddling and watching an old version of Doctor Who, Morgan was droning out the TV, and talking to Reid about their future. “... We can have a nice big house, and we can get a dog, and we can get Doctor Who soundtracks and I’ll pick you up and dance you around. We would have a garden - fresh veggies and pretty roses. The dog will rip it up and we’ll just laugh and pull weeds..” He sighed and inhaled the scent of Reid’s hair, “That is, if you’ll have me that long.” He murmured, trying not to let Reid hear. “Morgan, I am going to keep you that long. I-I love you. I don’t wanna lose you again.” Reid was stuttering out nonsense now, and Morgan couldn’t help but laugh. He gently grabbed Reid’s face, and kissed him.

_**And darling I may not be everything you want  
But I can give you all that I have  
I'm not the perfect man  
But you are just so perfect and I want to be the one that holds your hand. ** _

After renting their first home together, moving in, and being settled in for a couple months, Reid and Morgan’s bodies were close, swaying along to the rhythm of a soft song. Morgan had one hand around Reid’s waist, and the other entwined with his bony hand. Reid’s head was laying against Morgan’s shoulder, and had his arm around his neck. It was their two year anniversary, and instead of going out to some fancy place that neither of them felt comfortable in, they decided to stay home and have a intimate night. Reid looked up to his lover, and smiled, happy in the fact that he gave him a second chance. Things were going great, and they loved each other like nothing else in the world. The team knew of their relationship, and of their past problems, and yet they still approved. Garcia, JJ, and Emily were constantly asking Reid how things were going, and how often they cuddled, while Hotch and Rossi bombarded Morgan with their “best tips for making love” handguide when they had a chance (they acted like Morgan didn’t know what he was doing by now). After a year or so, Reid found himself ready to have Morgan, and although they were both thrilled, that night Morgan had gone slow, and made sure Reid was comfortable the whole night. The next day had been different, because Reid was like a horny schoolgirl, and wanted to fuck the day away with ropes and blindfolds - turns out he’s a kinky little shit - and Morgan gave him what he wanted; teasing him, but making sure he was okay the whole time. Reid even wore some lacy panties for him, from time to time.

The night was spent holding each other, passionate kisses and at the end, a big fluffy blanket, popcorn and loads of cuddles. Unbeknownst to Reid, Morgan however, had a different plan to end the night with. 

_**I'm not those men that made you cry  
And I promise I will spend my life just trying to make you feel alive  
Cause you are broken and I am such a wreck  
I swear I'll love you till I'm dead. ** _

After getting halfway through the popcorn, and a quarter of the way through the Doctor Who episode flickering on the screen in front of them, Morgan decided it was time. Pushing Reid off his lap a little, he got up, and went to one of the kitchen drawers. Reid asked what he was doing, whining because he was cold, and Morgan shooed him off with a hum until he found what he was looking for. Pulling the tiny box out of the drawer, he hid it behind his back, and walked in front of the TV. “Morgan, move, you’re blocking Doctor Who. I will never forgive you.” He whined and tried to see past Morgan, having no luck in doing so. Looking down and smiling at Reid’s sleepy whiny face, he got down on one knee in front of the shaggy haired dope. Reid was too lost in the episode, so Morgan cleared his throat. “Um, earth to Dr. Spencer Reid. Hello?” Reid looked down at him, “You dork, what are you doing? Now is not the time to do squats or whatever you do to work you buns.” He was whining again.

“Okay Mr. Genius, one, I don’t do squats. My ass is naturally this firm. It wants to please you,” He chuckled, and slowly pulled the tiny box from behind him. “And second, I want to ask you about this.” He opened the box, to reveal a shiny sparkling ring, just for Reid. Reid sat up like a rocket, and his eyes widened like saucers. “Morgan…” He trailed off, staring. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid, will you be my husband, that I will cherish, spoil, and love for the rest of my life?”

Reid was shocked and he couldn’t speak, so he just nodded his head. Morgan slowly slipped the ring onto Reid’s finger, and fell backwards as he was tackled by the scrawny limbs. Reid placed kisses all over his face, and hugged him with a strength that no one knew he had. “I love you, Derek Morgan, and you better not forget it.” He squeaked like a mouse and showered Morgan in kisses again. “You’re my tsunami, and I’m your disaster. I love you too, Reid.”


End file.
